To anybody,

I dreamt that I was dying last night. I was wrapped in someone's arms; he was dying too. We were outdoors, by a river, but it was filled with salt water. We were dying because we didn't have the resources to survive. We were freezing but I was sort of numb. My brain was very active. I kept wanting to talk; kept cuddling up and moving a little. Small movements took more effort. I felt comfortable and it was hard to really believe we were cuddling up to die. I finally settled down and laid still for a long time. Then I got a wave of desire to rise. I stirred, and my partner was unresponsive to my movement. I decided not to look at him as I got up and walked past. I felt warm and buzzing, propelled by some tiny amount of energy left in me. I walked along the river and thought maybe I could boil the water. The second I completed the thought it felt like it would take too much energy. It felt like I was sailing on my own feet, and I veered away from the water into a house to my right. I saw a mirror on the wall ahead, and felt my lips smirk as I decided to run toward it. But when I tried my world spun, my ears felt hot, my head reeled, and my vision blurred. It felt like I was moving in slow motion, so I stopped the effort. I must still be dying. I reached the mirror and looked right in my own eyes. I studied my face and my hair and my smile. I looked fuzzy but it could have been the old, dusty mirror. I smiled at myself, with love, and decided to sing. Yes, I would die singing. I watched myself, I dug up the breath and the energy to drive the words, which I slurred. I tried again, trying to articulate, to sing my best. I left myself singing when I woke up.

Sunshine