Why am I so sad today? I'm exhausted and unsettled, of course, but I'm also sad. I don't feel the usual loneliness, I actually have a lot of people in my life now. And I have you. But something about that is making me sad today. I don't want you any more than I want other people; what I've been having of you is enough. I love it when you're around, and your company has been filling a void. It's silly, I don't even know who used to fill the void anymore. Or was there even a void to fill?
I should really only think progressively, but sometimes I do find myself sloshing through the past. It's instantly annoying when I realize it, but then there you are, forcing me back to the present, back to now, to you and I, until there isn't a you and I anymore. I'm happy with your distractions, but still, at times, pissed off that that's what they are. I'm curious to see how far our relationship can go. For now, the pleasure is enough. Too close, and I might lose sight of you. And I like the sight of you.
Fleetingly,
Sunshine
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