Handcuffed

I'm not as big as I try to seem. I'm not better than everyone, I do need people. I knew it all along, but wouldn't listen when she told me so. I'm trying as hard as I can to be there for grandpa. I'm trying as hard as I can to be supportive and mature for my brother. I'm sorry that when you corner us and demand explanations, I can't give you any. What would I say? I despise everything about your wife in every way, but she makes you happy so I tolerate her? That wouldn't solve anything, it would just aggravate it. I'm trying to become a better person. I'm dealing with having driven away the girl I love. I really do try and be a good a student. It's a struggle everyday, I feel like I exist in a state of existential crisis. Spread so thin. But I do respect you, I do love you, I do appreciate everything you do for me. It's just all at odds with trying to tolerate her. I've been trying to act nicer. I have. I'm sorry it hasn't been nice enough. Maybe someday everything will all come together. Until then, I'm sorry.

Miss Lucy