To my dream lover

I just woke up from a dream about you. It was very intimate, and you took the form of someone that in real life I wish I could at least kiss before I die. We were in your room, I guess, though I've never been there. It was your room in your mother's home, which you once told me indirectly is the most important place in the world to you. Well, perhaps just the one that's closest to your heart. I guess being in that setting indicated that we were existing somewhat outside of time; in our own now, but after everything that makes our now real had exhausted its presence. You were very reserved, all I wanted to do was please you but I wasn't sure if I was. I was uninhibited, however. Just determined. In one moment I thought someone was coming, but didn't really care. I thought you might, but I didn't. If you did you didn't show it, stayed reserved. I've had that phenomenon in a dream lover dream before, that feeling of someone coming to catch you. That time I was afraid of being discovered, though, and that time I loved the person being projected in my dreams. Perhaps that's indicative of the fact that I don't love the person behind you in this dream. It's true, I doubt I would love that person if given the chance.

Our intimacy ended with uncertainty and disappointment on my end, but it was a mild reaction, as if I was sad the weather hadn't been as good as I'd hoped. I was so surprised and delighted when you said there would be a next time, I almost asked you why. Instead I just said there will be? And you said well, yes, as if you were happy. I was very happy then, 10 minutes ago, just before I woke up. Now I am filled with longing and attraction, though peaceably, and hope I can find someone to portion my love and attraction to in wrapped up droplets until the one who I want to give it all to materializes, if he or she ever does. I say that amicably, with a smile.

I wonder what you'll be next time, dream lover.

Love,
Sunshine